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Lessons I Learned from Abby Paterson

Welcome today’s guest blogger, Abby Paterson! Abby began the “Truly Movement“, and I love it. It’s awesome when women can be brave and real and share their true stories with each other, so that we can all learn and grow. Thank you, Abby, for joining forces with me here to help women grow and strengthen themselves; from Milk to Meat (1 Corinthians 3:2). Today, Abby addresses something very strong – our tongues. They are small, but mighty; like the tiny rudder that steers an enormous ship. They can do tremendous damage to all relationships, but especially to our marriages. The Bible says they are a flame of fire, and we know how destructive fire can be if untamed. We often don’t consider venting to our girlfriends about our spouse as gossip, but truly, it is. As you read Abby’s thoughts today, ask yourself, “Have I gossiped about and betrayed my husband/significant other?” and “Who are my safe people and where is a safe/constructive place to discuss issues I have with my spouse?” Really, this applies to us all. Unmarried readers, I challenge you to evaluate the same questions.

Watch Your Mouth

It’s a thing…are you victim? Or perhaps you’re the culprit? I’ll admit I find myself falling into the latter more often than not.

One of the most common things I run into when discussing relationships with others is how one partner got offended or upset because something that should have been protected or respected was shared outside the relationship.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying don’t talk to others about your relationship or seek advice…but I do think there needs to be more consideration and wisdom used regarding this.

I’m going to speak for women, because ladies, we are BAD at this. We like to chat. A lot. We also like to complain. A lot. Have you ever found yourself during a girls night say something like, ‘He just doesn’t get it!’, ‘I’m annoyed about this…’ or ‘If he would only…’.

You get the picture. Now, think about it this way: what if he were in the room with you? Would you have said it that way? Would you have even shared it in the first place? Would he feel disrespected?

Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. You must have trusted friends – accountability partners – and/or a counsellor you can go to and vent, ask questions, seek wisdom from. But just be careful about venting to every single friend you have the opportunity to do so with.

A good guideline to check yourself are asking the following questions when you find yourself sharing or oversharing:

Is the way I’m sharing gossiping?
Is this honouring to him?
If he were here, would I say it differently?

I’d like to follow this up with reiterating something: PLEASE find yourself a trusted friend – a wise friend. Someone that can help you navigate the tough stuff. Maybe someone who can learn to ask you questions that help you think deeper.

Along with this, I cannot recommend a therapist enough. Life is so not easy and quite often, the ruts we find ourselves in are due to deeper issues we don’t even know exist. A therapist asks you questions that make you THINK. I love that part. My friend the other day after a session said, ‘I can’t believe she asked me questions I hadn’t asked myself yet’ (self admitted overthinker). Do it. The only scary part is the unknown before you get into the office. After that, you’ll be SO grateful you did. Feel free to write us if you need help finding someone.

Chinese Breakfast (for dinner)

2 servings of rice
2 eggs
5 slices of bacon chopped & fried up
1 onion diced – fried up in the bacon grease
Drain remaining grease
Add bacon and onion back into frying pan, lower heat add (measurements estimate, add to taste):

1/3 cup soya sauce
1 tbsp Hoison sauce
1 tbsp Black bean sauce
1 tbsp Oyster Sauce
1 tbsp brown sugar

While that is simmering, in a separate pan, make eggs over easy

Put rice in bowls, add onion, bacon, sauce mixture, top with soft egg.

Enjoy!

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