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Lessons I Learned from Darlene Schacht

Ladies, I am seriously stoked about today’s guest blogger. I have the TIME WARP WIFE here, and I almost can’t believe it!

New York Times bestselling author, Darlene Schacht is one of the most followed female Christian bloggers out there (check her out at Time Warp Wife). She co-authored Reshaping It All with Candace Cameron Bure (DJ, Full House) and has been featured on KirkCameron.com (Mike Seaver, Growing Pains). Not only has she worked with ’90’s sitcom royalty, she offers women real, practical and Biblical insight into life and marriage (so, she is basically my hero). And, I must say, she has such a fun and quirky sense of humor! Today she shares some advice with us that we should take seriously. I have learned (the hard way) that the last thing my husband needs from me are my endless honey-do lists, “friendly reminders”, outright nags, and definitely not my criticism. They do more damage than just cause annoyance. I needed this reminder again. (Duly noted, Darlene!) I don’t want to be a drippy faucet – I want to be a flood of encouragement, grace and comfort to my husband! I want to be a safe place for him, and not someone he wants to run and hide from. I am a little gobsmacked that she was willing to come over to my lowly blog, so let’s give her our undivided attention! Darlene, the stage…or, shall I say, the screen is all yours!…

From Darlene…

Last night I noticed a little water on the kitchen floor by the sink, which is par for the course considering that most days Nathaniel spills far more than he drinks. But when I noticed a bulging box of Cascade under the sink this afternoon and another puddle of water beneath my feet I knew we had a leak somewhere that had to be fixed. It wasn’t too serious, but enough of a drip that I stood on towels to wash dishes and changed my socks once or twice.

The sound of Michael tinkering in the kitchen after dinner was music to my ears. I wondered if he might be too tired or too busy to get to it this evening, but since we both know that water can cause permanent damage if it’s left to soak, he wanted to get it repaired right away.

Looking at the scriptures I’m reminded of yet another damaging drip – a contentious woman.

“A continual dripping on a very rainy day, and a contentious woman are alike.”
~ Proverbs 27:15

Contention appears in a number of ways including opposing, nagging, arguing, challenging, belittling, and competing. And why do we do it? Because somehow we think that by nagging him we’re encouraging our husbands to be a better person.

It seems to makes sense at the time, but the truth is that many of our husbands – and many wives for that matter – have fragile egos that should be handled with care and respect.

In the same way that a leaky faucet can cause permanent damage, our words if left unchecked can damage our relationships and can cause resentment to grow. I can’t imagine what the state of my kitchen would be if we let that faucet leak for 10 years, but in some marriages that’s what’s happening. Sometimes the damage appears insurmountable. Giving up – they walk away.

If this problem is going on in our marriage, we need to get in there and immediately start to make changes that work to build up our husbands rather than tearing them down. Certainly it takes the work of two people to form a strong marriage bond, but my advice to you is that we concentrate on our share of the work and leave them to do theirs.

Here are six ways we can start building up our husbands today:

1. Listen to what he has to say so that you will recognize what’s on his heart.
2. Make an effort to be as cheerful as you were when you were engaged to be married.
3. Ignore his faults and focus on his strong points by taking note of them.
4. Compliment him for the way that he looks and the good things that he does, like working hard for the family.
5. See him for who he is, not who you want him to be.
6. Be slow to anger. Relay your frustration with love, respect, and a cool head.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

I’m an Evangelical Christian whose number one priority is to serve Jesus Christ in every area of my life. My husband Michael and I live in Manitoba Canada. Married 25 years, we have four children (three still at home), a bird and two pugs who are everyone’s babies, especially mine! Our lives are basically surrounded with three things: our faith, music and everything books. I’m an award winning and New York Times best-selling author who is nothing without the grace of God.

When my friend Wendy told me that this was the best recipe EVER – I had to try it…

Wendy’s Ginger Beef Stir-Fry

4 small Angus steaks thinly cut into strips and seasoned in steak spice, garlic, ginger, pepper

Mix a couple tablespoons of cornstarch with a couple tablespoons of water and toss with the meat

Chop up a lot of:

Broccoli
Cauliflower
Carrots
Mushrooms
Onion
Red pepper

Into some oil, cook the meat and onion til desired done-ness.

Remove meat from pan/wok.

Add veggies into pan with a cup of water. Stir fry about 5 min til veggies are desired done-ness… Still a bit crisp is best. Add the meat back in.

Mix about 2/3 cup of soy sauce with a couple tbsp of brown sugar, some ginger, garlic, salt and pepper and a couple or 3 tbsp of corn starch. Mix well and add to pan. Cook a couple minutes til sauce is thickened.


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