You guys, you are about to meet one of my favorite ladies to be around – she is inspiring, fun to be around and very wise. Everyone, meet Wendy Pauls!! Wendy and her husband Kevin have been friends of ours for years. Our husbands have toured and made music together, and our families always have hilarious moments together. They are one of the couples we wish we lived around the corner from – one reason being, is that they have always been some of our biggest encouragers and cheerleaders. It’s amazing to have friends who believe in you and motivate you. Just being around Wendy is motivating. She is, after all, a “Life Coach”. Her profession and her mission is to inspire others to be the best they can be in all facets of life and help them achieve their goals. I love receiving Wendy’s wisdom and insights on her social media and her website, and now I am able to share her with you all today, which thrills me. Wendy shares a “lesson she learned” in marriage, and it’s definitely something I must do often too – change my thinking habits. The way we think about things matters – it will dictate our actions and choices and really, everything about our life, including the way we interact with our spouse. After reading through Wendy’s post, I challenge you to ask yourself, “How can I think better about my spouse today, and what expectations can I release him from?” Then, I want you to just take a moment, like Wendy did, and remember the things you are THANKFUL for about your spouse. This will certainly kick resentment to the curb! One thing you will not resent me for – asking her to share her Chopped Salad with Maple Dijon Dressing recipe with you all. Check it out at the bottom of the page!
It’s time for a confession.
Are you ready for it?
For the first many years of my marriage, I felt resentful toward my husband for a lot of little things: things like not buying water softener salt (c’mon, who wants water spots on the glasses?), or not changing the furnace filter.
Shouldn’t he take care of that kind of stuff? Why should I always have to remember?
As I said, these are little things…but I turned them into BIG resentment. And since thoughts are kinda magnetic, I attracted lots of other little frustrations into my mind.
This wasn’t good for me. It didn’t create a lot of good feelings. It wasn’t helpful. And it certainly wasn’t good for our marriage.
One day I asked myself some questions, “Is Kevin a good husband? Do you love him?”
That was easy to answer, “Yes, absolutely! He is loving and caring, a good dad, and my biggest cheerleader.”
“So then, is it really a big deal to remember to buy furnace filters or softener salt?” (I knew that if I simply asked Kevin to do it, he would take care of it. I resented him for needing to be reminded.)
“No, it’s not a big deal at all.”
“Can you handle taking responsibility for remembering to buy softener salt and furnace filters for the next 30 years or so…IF nothing changes?”
“Yes, I can handle that.”
(And yes, I do actually talk to myself like this!)
I chose to let go of my imposed expectation that he SHOULD remember these things.
If he is willing to help if asked, what’s the big deal if I am the one who remembers?
The result? Those yucky feelings I carried around are gone (at least around these issues) I am happier with my hubby because I spend more time enjoying all his GREAT qualities – which in turn, makes me happier too.
The moral of the story?
Let’s stop “shoulding” on people. It’s just not worth it.
Wendy is a solar powered, coffee drinking, food loving Life Coach who enjoys giving people permission to be fabulously human.
Chopped Salad “Your Way” with Maple Dijon dressing
I always use:
1 small to medium cauliflower
1 broccoli bunch
2 or 3 carrots (or a bunch of baby carrots)
Optional add-ins (choose one or two or LOTS)
fresh corn from 2 cobs
1 cup of celery
1/2 cup bell pepper
3 small beets
4 Tbsp Olive Oil
2 Tbsp Maple Syrup (the real stuff!)
1 Tbsp Apple cider vinegar
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
Chop the vegetables in bite size pieces (I use a slap chopper).
Toss the vegetables with the dressing.
1) If you end up with a large bowl of veggies, double the dressing recipe!
2) This salad keeps in the fridge for several days (and keeps getting yummier as it soaks up the dressing). BUT, if you plan to keep it for a few days, don’t add the bell pepper or the nuts or seeds – leave them on the side and add them as you eat the salad.